Quiz: Come, double confirm how Singaporean you are
PHOTO: Unsplash
PUBLISHED ONAugust 08, 2020 7:00 AMByPearlyn Tham
Your IC is pink. Your passport is red (unless you are nouveau riche and shroud yours in brown LV monograms). You know your min chang kueh from your ang ku kueh.
You know the difference between “stand by bed” and “stand by universe”. And, most importantly, you can rattle off “Aunty, kopi siew dai peng dabao” smoothly without gagging.
Hello, dear fellow Singaporean.
But wait first, how much more Singaporean can you really be?
Take our boh liao quiz to find out if this is your home, truly, where you’ll always be (complaining about the sun or the rain or people wearing masks at their chins). And it’s so boh liao that we have even pre-determined the best answer for you.
What do you do when someone cuts your BBT queue?
1. Accept it because you didn’t pay your mental wellness coach $500 a week to learn that there is much more to life than being dulan.
2. Mouth tsk as softly as you can, then pretend you are taking a harmless selfie when you are really aiming your Instagram Stories camera at the assailant. Because all your 56 followers must know what you went through.
3. Stare very hard at the assailant and shout: “Can you not? You got no parents to teach you manners, is it?”
4. Smile gently and say in very kantang English: “It would be really socially responsible of you to step behind because the rest of us have been waiting in line since 1979.”
The answer: Your conscience says one but your heart, mind and SG soul all say two. It’s the best SGSafe compromise what – take your revenge but never let the other person know.
Which of the following is not a shiok way to spend your weekend?
1. Finishing all the work you took home on Friday night and posting blurry, cryptic Instagram photos of half your laptop with captions like “the hustle is real” or “tired…”.
2. Embroidering your pet hamster’s mugshot on a cushion cover, planting cherry tomatoes and reading back copies of Reader’s Digest.
3. Sipping $10.80 single-origin cold-brew coffee and eating gluten-free buckwheat pancakes at some pretty hipster café with flamingo wallpaper but really thinking about having nasi lemak and sugarcane juice because #notfillingleh.
4. Waking up at 11am, eating mala instant noodles at 3pm, napping until 6pm and then binge-watching Netflix before ordering in naan and butter chicken at 10pm. Cheem people call it the hygge life, you just call it nuah.
The answer: Since we’ve never been very lucky with Toto, we are taking a huge gamble and betting two is not the way most of us true Singaporeans like spending our weekends.
But if that happens to be your kind of thing, send us your cushion cover photos, yeah?
Who is the ultimate little dragon girl to you?
1. Eleanor Lee
2. Fann Wong
3. Idy Chan
4. Michelle Chen
The answer: Of course, Fann Wong, lah! Not say we want to say but she is still our country’s most famous actress export.
Plus, she has the cutest son and most loving husband, and she can bake. And she gave us that OG frenemy line – “We are just colleagues, not friends” – that we now use on people we hate but must pretend to love at work. But if you chose three (and know who she is), happy 99th birthday!
What are Loy Kee, Boon Tong Kee, Wee Nam Kee and Tian Tian known for?
1. They are famous rich people from 18th century Singapore.
2. They are famous Star Search contestants.
3. They are famous for chicken rice.
4. They are the names of the neighbourhood cats.
The answer: If you said three and can still add on 1,428 other chicken rice stall names, we love you. If you chose the other options, do not collect $200 and go directly to jail.
Yes, not knowing your chicken rice brands is a nationalistic offence.
Which is your fave mall?
1. MBS
2. Nex
3. Plaza Singapura
4. Far East Shopping Centre
The answer: This is one of those bonus questions. There is no wrong answer!
If you chose MBS, you are a very luxe, staycation-ing Singaporean! If you picked Nex, you love suburban malls (and 24-hour NTUC grocery sprees) like most of us do!
If Plaza Singapura is your fave, you are either very nostalgic and grew up taking (enforced) Yamaha piano lessons and shopping at Yaohan, or you just love having Daiso, Muji and the cinema under one roof.
And if Far East Shopping Centre works for you, you love golfing or are just so Singaporean that you know this is not Far East Plaza. Or Far East Square.
This article was first published in Wonderwall.sg.