'You can't even keep track of your lies': Influencers discuss if lying in a relationship is acceptable

Love and dating can be complex. It involves getting to know each other, coexisting, and setting boundaries between two individuals.

However, a fundamental question arises: Is lying ever acceptable in relationships?

In the latest episode of the video podcast series Just Saying by The Backstage Bunch, DJ Jade Rasif, stand-up comedian Jacky Ng, content creator Shanise Lozzi, and host Dew Francis delve into the loaded topic of lying in relationships.

In the 39-min long YouTube video, uploaded on Oct 1, the influencers covered everything from lying about your height to a rather far-fetched tale of being related to a certain rapper.

First dates

On the subject of first dates, Dew pointed out that, based on a Google search, many men lie about their intentions on the first date.

He also admitted that when it comes to hook ups, he might not always be upfront about his desires, instead using the excuse of wanting to get to know the person better.

In contrast, Jade and Shanise shared that women typically enter first dates with the primary goal of getting to know their date better, without any ulterior motives.

Men, on the other hand, often have have sex as their ultimate goal when it comes to dating according to Jacky.

Jade shared her personal dating experiences, highlighting that men tend to lie about their "status" when dating her, all the while assuming she's only interested in high-status individuals.

The weirdest lie she encountered was when a date claimed that Tyga was his cousin as she mentioned that she likes the American rapper.

However, when Tyga came to town for a performance and Jade asked about it, the date had completely forgotten about his earlier lie.

"You can't even keep track of your lies," Jade mentioned as she recounted.

White lies told in a relationship

Moving on to the topic of white lies, Jade and Dew confessed to occasionally resorting to white lies when complimenting their partners' efforts, even when they don't mean it.

Dew, for instance, mentioned that he would compliment his ex-partner for doing household chores, even if he considered it the bare minimum in a relationship.

However, Jade added that sometimes, when you give compliments you don't really mean, it can backfire.

Her ex-partner, who believed he was a good singer because nobody had ever told him otherwise, once performed the song Stereo Hearts by Gym Class Heroes.

“It was so bad [and] I was so embarrassed,” Jade recalled.

Is lying about your past okay?

When it comes to dating history, host Dew admitted to occasionally resorting to "half-truths" when talking about it. 

He clarified that he wouldn't lie about who he had slept with, but he might bend the truth in other areas.

For instance, when questioned about why he broke up with his ex-girlfriend, Dew would respond by saying that it was down to her insecurities.

As for the specifics of her personal insecurity, Dew would maintain that he didn't know the exact reasons, despite being fully aware of them.

One of the reasons stem from his social circle, which included attractive people, and his history of intimate encounters with others.

He also mentioned that asking about someone's past, especially their exes, is setting yourself up for disappointment since romantic relationships usually have complex histories.

On the other hand, Jade emphasised she doesn't believe in lying but if she is uncomfortable talking about her past, she would simply say that she doesn't want to talk about it than hurt the other person's feelings.

Shanise believed that during the initial getting-to-know-each-other stage in a budding relationship, it's not essential to reveal your past.

She sees this phase as an opportunity to start off with a clean slate. But, she did mentioned that she will share her past once the relationship becomes more established.

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venkat.gunasellan@asiaone.com

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